The Glesca Marathon 1984

Ah wis sittin last Sunday watchin the London marathon oan the telly an stertit reminiscin eh the Glesca Marathon of '84. Whit a kerry oan! Ah've still goat mah medal an stuff up in the attic somewherr.

Ah thae wir the days! Thinkin back, ah should really hiv entered in the disabled category. Years a cross country cyclin in the 70s, ower Ayshire an Galloway hills hid taken thir toll oan mah knees. Ah used tae foally the aff road routes of Davie Bell an eez cronies [any eh you Ayrshire folk ever heard eh Davie? Eh used tae write as the 'Highwayman' in the Ayrshire Post many years ago]. This wis aw before 'mountain bikin' became popular. Anyway, ah hid takin it intae mah heid tae tackle the Glesca marathon, mibby even aim furr the London the followin year. Ah hid built masell up the year afore, runnin a few half marathons (13 miles). The wife an kids wirr constantly narkin aboot the smell a liniment in the hoose. Right enough, the hoose reeked eh the stuff. This wis the regime; warm up, liniment rubbed oan eh knees, trainin run, back tae the hoose, hoat compresses oan the knees, merr linament, hobble aboot furr 48 oors then sert ower again.[Except furr the time ah went ower oan mah ankle oan a kerb an endit up in a 'stookie' furr 8 weeks. Everybiddy loved it, an 8 week respite fae the smell ah liniment.] Eventually ah considered massell ready furr the big day. They say ye should be able tae run 17-18 miles comfortably before ye consider the big two six. A fortnight affore the marathon ah managed tae get up tae 17 an wis in agony. But ah convinced massell thit ah hid met the criteria an announced tae evrybiddy thit ah wis gonnae dae it.
Whit ah numptie!
A sent aff furr the fishull gear, teashirt an shorts wae the marathon logo printit oan thim [they must be up in the attic as well] an tried them oan. Ah felt lik Sebastion Coe. [probbly looked merr lik Danny Devitto, bit imagination's a wunnerfull hing]

The moarnin eh the Marathon wis hellish! Glesca Green wis lik the Somme. Torrential rain an bitin wind. An the mud! Oh the mud. Folk hid tied kerrier bags aroon thir feet tae try an keep the mud oot. Ye squelched evrywher. The smell a liniment in the big chingin tent made yir eyes water - but ah felt right at hame wae that.

We made oor wae oot the Green an gethirt in the Saltmerket, jist doon fae Glesca Croass, jinin up wae the masses waitin furr the aff. Ther wirr thoosans eh iz. Fae aw walks a life as they say. Maist folk wir done up wae black bin bags as protection against the wind an rain. It wis freezin as we aw rubbed shooders wae each ither, laughin an jokin wae perfect strangers fae aw ower the country, an ither countries as well, as wae tried tae keep wurr spirits up. We musta looked lik them masses a penguins ye see oan films eh the Antartic. The Glesca Patter wis flowin that moarnin ah kin tell ye! 'Aw Jimmy is this eh right road furr Ebbirdeen?' 'Heh ahm ah in the right queue furr the Elton John coancirt?' 'Let me tell ye this boay, this is eh worst organised orange walk ah've ever bin oan!' They jist kept cummin. Folk wirr dressed up as chickens, berrs an things beyon description. Some wirr pushin prams wae folk in thim. Some wirr bailin oot the prams as thae filt up wae rainwatter. Ah couldnae help glancin ower at the red brick buildin oan mah left, the CPM (City Police Mortuary), an wundrin if that wis wher ah wid end up.

At last wae wurr aff, slow at first, walkin trottin, as the huge mass eh people made thir wae up the High Street. A seethin mass a Glesca humanity. The atmosphere wis fantastic. Evrybiddy wavin an cheerin. Wae hardly noticed the gradient as we 'flowed' through Glesca Croass, roon the steeple (wher they used tae hing people in the auld days) an climbed up High Street towards the Catherdral. Gradually we began tae warm up an the plastic bin liners wirr cast aside. Hunners eh these black bags wirr flyin aw ower the place wae the wind.

The furst few miles wurr great. The excitement an exhilaration, folk cheerin. "Yiz urr gaun the wrang wae!" some wit oan the pavement shouted. Up Castle Street, through Toonheid, this wis the area my ancestors aw came fae an whit ah wis broat up in, bit ah didnae appreciate that at the time. Ah wunner whit they wid hiv made eh aw this? Past the Cathedral, left at the Royal Infirmary an we wirr makin wirr wae doon intae the city. Through the city we went, up the steady climb alang Bath Street towards the west end. Great Western Road took us oot towards Annisland Croass, through the Asian community, past Byres Road and Redlands Hospital [converted tae the ambulance service training centre, and my place of work at the time]. Gartnaval Royal soon passed oan the left and, at Anniesland we stertit doon towards Scotstoun an whit wis wance the great shippin an shipbuildin region eh the Clyde. A wee guy oan the pavement shoutit "Yer gaun the wrang wae, pal!" Glesca folk sometimes lack originality! We wir oan the Clydeside noo an headin back intae the city. Things wirr gaun fine an, lookin at the stoapwatch, ah wis daen good time. Alang through the Broomielaw wher sah minny folk arrived in Glesca fae Ireland, mine included, an we swung right ower the bridge an intae the 'soo'side'. Bae this time wae wirr gettin a bit spaced oot (ah mean that in the distance sense!) Ah loat a folk hid takin tae walkin furr stretches. Some hid decidit thit this wis a dawdle an wirr gaun lik the clappers an overtakin evrybiddy. Ah began tae feel the knees gaun jist before Pollock Park. Ah'm gled tae say ah wisnae the only wan. Merr an merr wirr walkin noo an some seemed tae hiv geid up aw thigither. We knew the leaders hid already finished bae this time, collectit thir medals an wir either at hame watchin us numpties oan the telly urr in the pub regailin evrybiddy eh thir achievement. Bit, furr the rest, oor adventure wis jist beginin. Pollock park wis aboot the 19/20 mile mark if a mine correctly. Hoff wae through the park, ma knees sterted wavin white flags an sent a message tae mah brain tae STOAP! Bit mah brain wisnae listenin. It hid gied up listenin when ah sent the application form aff! Ah began tae trott, hobble walk fae furst aid post tae furst aid post. Each time, linament wid be rubbed oan mah knees an legs an ah'd be advised tae pack it in. No me! It wisnae because a wis brave urr anyhing lik that, it wis the thoat a evribiddy laughin an sayin 'a told ye so' when a goat hame. So ah pushed oan. An eejit at the exit gate fae the park shoutit 'Yer gaun the wrang wae mate!' Ah wis aboot tae gie im the malkie when ah realised eh wis right! Noo. it wisnae a case a whit time ah wid dae it in, urr even whit day! It wis purely determination tae finish. The nixt couple of oors wir a nightmare. An lik aw nightmares its hard tae remember the details noo. A remember bein cauld. Ah remember the kindness eh the Glesca people. Ah remember a wean runnin furrit an gein meh a bar a choaclit. That wean will never know how much that helped. Ah remember strugglin doon the side eh the Clyde Embankment, ower the cobblestones. It wis agony! An ah remember the finish. Oh how ah remember the finish!

We entered Glesca green an hobbled, limped, trotted alang towards the coarner in the distance thit turned doon towards the finish line. We couldnae see the finish at this point. Thir wirr aboot five eh us who'd been strugglin oan igither, an wae wirr aw in a sorry state, . As we turned the coarner we saw in the distance (aboot 300 yerds away) the Finish. The big digital cloack showed the time 04:58. As we looked, it changed tae 04:59. We hid wan minute tae come in within the five oor merk. Three eh us sterted runnin, pulled away fae the ither two. Suddenly the pain in mah knees disappeared! An ah wisnae jist joggin, ah wis actually sprintin! Wan guy pulled out in front an ah stied wae im. Aw three eh us wirr focused oan that big cloak in front eh us. We croassed the line affore the numbers chinged, 04:59. No a good time, bit ah felt lik ah hid won! The medal wis slung roon mah neck, a thermal blanket wis wrapped roon meh an then ah realised ah couldnae move - mah feet hid sunk in the mud an ah couldnae lift thim oot! Mah knees hid seized up completely and folk hid tae help lift meh oot the ooze. A couple a stewards then hid tae dig doon an scoop oot mah trainers.

So, as ah sat last week an watched the London marathon oan a wet dreich day I say tae aw you runners whitevir yer time - RESPECT!