Hullawrerr!

This week I'm looking for some audience participation, so clear your throats, waggle yer tonsils, and keep the hankies handy.

Not all Glaswegians speak broad Glaswegian.
Variations on words, and the way that they're spoken, depend on where the speaker comes from and their background. The dialect can be softened, refined or suppressed, although the accent usually gives the game away. But it's broad Glaswegian that we are interested in, so lets get on with it by tackling the most distinctive and confusing factor - the Glaswegian's total disdain of the letter 'T'. Crisp, clear sounding Ts are as rare in broad Glaswegian, as wicker work chairs in a nudist colony.

Take the word butter.
Did you visit 'The Glesca Patter - The Jeely Piece' 'The Glasgow Patter - The Jeely Piece' , which has the snippet of the kids singing?
Did you listen to how they pronounced the word butter? There is absolutely no trace of a 'T' in the word. It's pronounced "buh-urr" "butter" . Words ending in 'T' like 'flat' get similar treatment, the T is chopped off and replaced with a glottal 'uh', hence 'fla(uh)'.
If there are any fellow Glaswegians out there who think they can better describe this then feel free to jump in here! Try listening to the clip and you'll hear what I mean. This "uh" "Glottal Stop" sound that replaces the letter 'T' can be represented by an apostrophe, as in "bu'urr" "butter" "fla'" "flat" .

Okay let's hear you all try it. After me ... "bu'urr" "butter" ... "bu'urr" "butter" ... "bu'urr" "butter" ...
Look, some of ye are no trying! Again ... "bu'urr" "butter" ... "bu'urr" "butter" ... "bu'urr" "butter" ...
Right, let's try ... "fla'" "flat" ... "fla'" "flat" ... "fla'" "flat" ...

Enough! It's gettin awfy slimy oot there! Wipe yer faces and keyboards and catch yer breath.

This produces conversations like ...

"Ahm gaun doon eh the shoaps, dae ye wan' anyhin?" "I'm going down to the shops, do you want anything?"
Remember; 'want' as in 'cant'.

"Aye, ye be'urr ge' some bu'urr an some breid an mulk." "Yes, you'd better get some butter, some bread, and milk."

"Well ye be'urr gie meh some money fur eh bu'urr coz ahm skint." "Well, you'd better give me some money for the butter, because I have none."

Now, to save all this insertion of apostrophes, words are normally written with the 'T's intact.
But remember that when you're listening to the Patter Patter in its native broad Glaswegian, they will cease to exist.
Keep practising.

Well, mah battery's gaun flat, so eh gemme's a-bogey till ah hae mah piece.

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First posted on 19 October 2003.

Hullawrerr!

Just back from a week in the Outer Hebrides. If ye think Glaswegian Patter Patter is bad, ye want tae try unnerstaunin the Gaelic!

So far in this series we've looked at words, pronunciation and spelling used in The Patter The Patter but I've only briefly mentioned speed.
A few years ago (well, more than a few actually!) I was on an instructor's training course in Cheshire. I was having great difficulty in being understood - not an asset on an instructor's course! I had curbed the Glasgow dialect but my accent was broad and I put the blame on that. I was put right by the course director (A Yorkshireman!). He explained that he saw my accent as a distinct advantage - it attracted immediate attention and interest.
The dialect I could keep on top of, by keeping to English, and avoiding 'Glaswegianisms'. The problem, he stressed, was the speed at which I talked. He encouraged me to slow down and give people time to follow what I was saying.
I passed the course and went on to become a senior training officer. I owe a lot to that guy.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that Glaswegians talk fast. Very fast!
The Scottish comedian, Stanley Baxter, capitalised on this in the 60s with a TV show containing sketches called 'Parliamo Glasgow'. These were a parody of a serious Italian language programme of the time, called 'Parliamo Italiano'.
Stanley's scriptwriter (I forget his name) represented the speed of Glesca Patter by taking out the spaces between words, and compressing whole words, and even sentences together.
Stanley Baxter delivered it brilliantly and did much to bring The Patter The Patter to the attention of the national public.

It went something like this;

Tutor:
A common word used by Glasgow natives is "Geeza" "Give to me" .
This is used in the form of a request, as in
"Geezaahnurrawaniraehingsourerr" "Give me another one of those things over there." and translates as ...
"Give me another one of those things over there."
It may be welcomed with the ancient cry of "Whodaeya!" "Who do you ..."
"Whodaeyahinkahmurryerbliddyskivvy?" "Who do you think I am, your servant?"
The young man on the receiving end of this rebuff may react by saying ...
"Awayanbileyerheidyacrabbitsod!" "Go away and 'boil your head', you irritable person!"

I'm afraid Stanley did it so much better than me. But this gives you the idea.

A quick mention. Lobey Dosser (the 'Calton Cowboy' for those who don't know of him) was a creation of late cartoonist Bud Neill.
He transplanted Glasgow's Calton district into the wild west and made Lobey it's Sheriff.
His two legged horse, Effie, and the master villian Rank Badjin, joined a host of other characters in the imaginery Western town.
A "lobey dosser" "Doorstep Itinerant" , by the way, is a tramp or down and out - "dosser" "rough sleeper" - who hangs about, and sleeps in closes or entrances - "the lobey" "the hallway" - to buildings.
Lobey is now less known but was on a par with such icons of Scottish cartoonery as Oor Wullie and the Broons.
For those interested in Lobey and his gang try http://www.netsavvy.co.uk/lobey

Right, enough of this fur noo. Ahm away tae try an dae a wee poem fur halloween.

Original postings on Scotlands People Discussion Group © 2003, 2004 Bob Wilson
Layout, editing and additional material © Dave Sloan 2005, 2012, 2016
'tachras' and 'Winding Yarn' © Dave Sloan 2005, 2012, 2016