The Broons - Glesca Patter (H,I,J)

Preamble ...
... postamble?

The Stookie

Glesca Patter 9 Well, I'm afraid Patter 9 is no more, it's deceased, gone, past tense, no longer of this world. I was careless when downloading to disk some time ago and unwittingly saved Patter 8 twice! BUT - there is a place where it may be found. A place not of this world. A place none dare approach. A genealogical netherworld. I refer to that forbidden place who's name is spoken only in whispers. So, who dares approach the gates of SP and, like Frodo and Sam on the slopes of Mount Doom, do the deed? Dont look at me, Ah'm too feart! First posted on SPDG 22 February 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Glesca Patter 10

'Crivens. Jings. Help mah Boab!'

If ye read these words anywher (apart fae jist noo) it's a sure bet yer readin either Oor Wullie or the Broons. Wir intae Sunday Post territory here ye understaun, nane eh yer Sunday Times wae it's borin awl supplements an share prices an awe! Naw, wir talkin the Sunday Post 'Fun Section' wae Wee Eck, Fat Boab, PC Murdoch, Maw an Paw Broon, Granpaw, Maggie, Hen, Horace, Joe, the Bairn, the Twins and Daphnie. Did ah miss anybiddy importint?

Although a Dundee publication, Oor Wullie and the Broon (Brown) family were/are undoubtedly ensconsed on Glasgow. The Broons live in what must be a large tenement 'hoose' in Glebe St. Glebe St actually existed until the 1970s when, like many of the streets in the Towhhead/Royston (Garngad) area of the city, it disappeared under what is now the M8 motorway. So what about that crivens, help mah boab stuff? The fact is that I dont recall it ever being part of the native vocabulary when I was a kid in that area. We used to say 'jings' occasionally but that too seems to have died out. Perhaps when the Broons and Co. first went to press, back in the 30s, those phrases were in use but, if so, it didn't survive except in the pages of the Sunday Post.
What HAS survived however are the characters and the buildings within the pages of the Sunday newspaper. Frozen in time (almost). Wullie is still the same wee boy that I knew in the 50s, hasn't aged a day!
The Broons still live in their Glebe St flat, totally unaffected by any motorway. Granpaw is still going strong and must now be around 140 years old, while the bairn still toddles about in her frilly dress and getting up to (and away with) mischief. The Broons and Oor Wullie - A Scottish Institution!

http://www.toonhound.com/broons.htm

So why hiv ah stertitt aff wae the Broons when ah'm supposed tae be continuin wae the 'haitches'? Nae reason.

Glossary A-Z : H.

heevin
Busy.
A place is said to be 'heevin' when there are a lot of people, crowded together.
'Ah tried tae get intae the pub tae watch the match oan the telly, but the place wis heevin.'

heid
Head.
(pronounced 'heed')

Incidently, I was interested to see the phrase 'hauder oan' appear in a post in the Occupations forum during the week. Just goes to show how a working knowledge of Glesca Patter can be helpful when deciphering those old certificates.

heidie
Oor Wullie would have called it 'keepie-up'. Keeping a football in the air by bouncing it off your head.
Also a Headmaster may be referred to as The Heidie. During a football game one might hear;
'Eh heided the baw right intae the net.'

herr
Hair.
'Ah'm gaun fur a herrcut.'

het
If yiv ever played 'Tig, Chases or Hide n Seek' ye'll know whit this means. In 'Tig' for example, one person chases aw the rest wae the object of touching wan eh them. When that happens, the person touched becomes 'het'. That means that person now has to do the chasin. Did that make any sense? Anyway, the most crucial part of the game as I recall was right at the very begining when it had to be decided who would be 'het' first. This was always acomplished by everyone lining up and holding out both hands made into fists. The leader of the pack/group/gang would stand in front and recite a wee rhyme whilst he/she (sometimes the girls were leaders!) tapped each fist in rotation in time with each word of the rhyme. On the last word of the rhyme, whoever's fist was tapped - they were 'het'. Everyone would run like the clappers and the game would begin.

'One potato, two potato
Three potato, four,
Five potato, six potato,
Seven potato, more,
You are Het!'

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe wiz another yin.

high heid yin
Boss. Top Man.

hing
Thing.

hink
Think.

You're probably begining to realise that 'th' in Glaswegian is often replaced with 'H'.

hoachin
Infested. Crammed full.
True story coming up... As some of you may have gathered from previous ramblings, I used to work in the ambulance service in Glasgow. My mate and I once picked up an old drunk from an even older pub in Saltmarket (a haven of modest charm as we used to say.) He was non compis... compos... compus... (did we ever get tae the bottom of that word?) (Oops I said 'bottom', oh dear!) Anyway, we ferried our wee drunk up the High St to Glasgow Royal Infirmary Casualty (A&E) Department. There he was put into a nice wee cubicle in the middle of the department and we went for our tea. On our return pandemonium reigned! Staff and patients were being evacuated from the unit and a stern faced sister (bearing a strong resemblance to Hattie Jacques from the 'Carry On' films) took us aside and threatened us with enemas.
'Ye remember that drunk ye broat in?'
'Aye,' we said in unison. 'Is eh causin trouble like?'
'Naw it's no him that's causin the trouble,' shouted the sister 'it's aw his friends - eez hoachin!'
For the next two hours the GRI A&E and our ambulance were out of bounds while both them and us were fumigated.
Ah kin think of even better examples of hoachin but ah'd only put yeez aff yer Sunday dinner!

hoachy
Lucky.
'Eh won fifty quid oan a lottery tickit eh fun (found) in the street - hoachy we sod that eh iz!'

honkin
Stinking, smelly.
The pub I mentioned earlier could be described as this.

hooley
Wild weather.
'It's blawin a hooley oot therr!'

hoose
House.
Tenement flats were never called flats. They were always 'Hooses' 'A've a nice wee hoose, wan up in Rosemount Street.' Even the humble 'single en' was always a HOUSE.

hoat pea special
Long gone now, but a Glasgow favourite in the 40s & 50s I believe. Hot peas and vinegar.

how's it gaun
Standard greeting.

howk
Pull.
As in tattie howkers or 'Ah went tae the dentist an he howked mah tooth oot.'

huckle
Move bodily, usually off the premises.
'Start any of yer kerry oan Jimmy an ah'll huckle ye oot a here!'

hunner
100.

hurr
Her.

hurl
Ride. A lift.
'Any chance eh a hurl doon the road?' Also 'hudgie' where ye jump oan the back eh a truck or midden motor an get an illicit (and dangerous) ride doon the street.

hut
Hit
(past tense)
'Heh Maw! He hut meh!'
'Well hit im back ya big jesse!'
SLAP!
BOOT!
'Heh Maw! He kicked meh'
'Heh you, stoap hittin mah boay!'
'He hut meh furst!'
SLAP!
'Eh hut meh again!'

An we'll jist leave them fightin tae next week.

Naw we'll separate thim amorra

First posted 29 February 2004

Hullawrerr!

[Posh English voice] First, I'd like to welcome all new members of the forum who've either stumbled on to this post by accident or just crept in out of curiosity. So what's it all about? We'll, think of this as a wee corner of the forum where you can come in, relax, and have some fun. A break away from the frustration of sifting through endless BDMs and worrying how you're going to pay the bills after forking out all those 'sick squids'. And, who knows, perhaps you might even learn something without realising. If you read the original GP post from back in Sept last year I explain a bit more. One thing I ask; please leave your personal baggage at the door. We've had our ups and downs on GP, as you'll see if you look back. Swearing is a big no, no with the 'Powers that Be', as are asterisks in place of sweary words.
Apostrophies, poor spelling, bad grammar and being human, tend to offend some 'Would Be powers that Be' - be we just ignore them. So, welcome once again, sit doon, put yer feet up an listen tae the patter.

[Back tae mah Glesca voice noo] A Glesca wummin staunin at a bus terminus waitin fur the driver tae open the doors an let hur oan!
"Heh driver! Is this bus gaun tae Partick ?"
"Naw, it's gaun back tae the garage hen."
"But it says Partick oan the sign at the front"
"Aye, an it says 'India' oan the tyres hen, but wir no gaun ther either."

Glossary A-Z : I to J this week.

icey
Ice Cream.
A 'pokey at' (ice cream cone) or a wafer. Ice cream shops, vans or carts were also referred to as 'Iceys' or the Icey Man'.

intae
Into.
'We went intae the shoap tae buy an Icey'. A cry also heard by spectators during a fight 'Get intae eez heid'. (Stop that fighting now!)

isnae
Is not.
'Eh isnae in.' (He appears not to be at home.)

izzy
Is he?

jag
Injection.
Two Glesca schoolkids in the playground
'Ah goat mah TB jag this effternin'.
'Did ye? Wiz it soar?'
'Aye it wiz. The needle's aboot six inches lang an the doactir jist jabs it right intae yer erm!'
'Aw naw, Ahm gettin mine ah morra.'
'Ye'll be awright, jist look away when eez daein it.'
'Aye, that's whit ah'll dae.'
'It's no the jag thit's the problem anywei.'
'Is it no?'
'Naw, it's the big scab thit comes up effter it!'
'Aw naw!'

jaikit
Jacket.
A person who may be in danger of losing their job may be described as; 'See him, eez jaiket's oan a shakey nail.'

janny
Janitor.
'Quick run, here comes the janny!'

jaur
Jar. 'Urr ye cummin doon eh the middins (rubbish bins) tae look furr jaurs? [Empty jars and bottles fetched a return price at the shops.]

jeely
Jam.
See the Jeely Piece Song back in GP 2

jeez-oh
An exclamation.
'Aw jeez-oh, whit's this?'

jiggin
Dancing.
Not used so much nowadays. Another bit of the patter that's dying out.
'Ah'm gaun tae the jiggin eh night, ye cummin?'

And on the subject of dancing, the all important first approach of the young suitor to the blushing maiden;
'Urr ye dancin?'
'Urr ye askin?'
'Ah'm asking.'
'Ah'm dancin then.'

jile
Jail.
'Eez jist oot the Bar-L (Barlinnie Prison)'
'Izzy?'
'Aye.'
'Whit wiz eh in eh jile furr?'
'Nuthin! Eh wiz fun (found) wae a couple a kilo a crack in eh boot eh eez caur (car) bit it wiz furr personal use ye unnerstaun!'

Jimmy
The 'universal' name given to someone you dont know the name of.
'Aw Jimmy! When's the nixt train?'
'Never! This is a Bus Station pal!'

jine
A Join.
'Ah've seen the adverts furr the army. Ye get tae go ski-in (ski-ing) an travel the wurld an stuff! Ah'm gonnae jine up a morra!'

jiner
Joiner

jotter
School notebook or getting the sack.
'They caught im wae eez fingers (as in ringers) in the till, so eh goat eez jotters.'

jorries
Marbles.

jook
Inside your pullover or jacket.
'Ah seen im cummin, an ah hid tae hide it, so ah stuffed it up mah jook.'

jist
Just.
'Aw noo jist a wee minnit that's no ferr!' (I disagree with your decision)

A've jist finished readin sumhin that might be of intrest tae sum eh ye. Ye'll find it at;

http://www.glesga.ukpals.com/glesgarem/glasgowremembered1.htm

That's it furr noo. See ye aw nixt week. Take kerr oot ther!

See ye ahmoarra!

First posted on SPDG 7 March 2004. A somewhat dickensian, but true, tale for christmas eve.