From time to time on Genealogy forums, certain words, phrases and poems appear that echo that dialect peculiar to Glasgow. Whilst these may produce reactions of amusement, nostalgia, or disdain, I suspect many people are simply bewildered.
So I thought, as a native Glaswegian, I might attempt to throw some light on the matter by offering some guidance on one of the most daunting of local dialects -
The Glesca Patter.

First Posted 28 September 2003

Many of you researching your Scottish ancestors will have traced them back to 'working class' industrial Glasgow of the 1800s and early 1900s. Places like the Gorbals, Govan, Townhead (Toonheid) and that oldest of industrial Glasgow's tenement settlements, the Garngad (now known as Royston). These were the incubators for what was to become the Patter that still thrives today, and your ancestors would almost certainly have spoken it to some degree.

Generations of Glaswegians have done a real hatchet job on the english language. Sentences, words and letters are compacted down till they scream for mercy. Words, letters and sounds are changed, removed or added, a raw humour is often injected into the mix, then the whole thing is rattled out at a speed that would leave Concorde standing on the runway (come to think of it Concorde is standing on the runway!)

The result is a dialect like no other, instantly recognisable all over the world. When standing in Times Square last year, totally confused and frustrated as to how to get to my destination, I lapsed into my native tongue when talking to my wife. An American lady came over "I just love that accent" she cried " You folks from Glasgow?" (She pronounced it Glasgouw as in cow!) She then helped us with directions and got us talking more Patter before going on her way. We made her day! Everybody recognises the Glesca accent although not everyone can understand it, or keep up with it.

Given all of the above please appreciate how difficult it is to put the dialect on paper. Saying is much easier than writing, but I'll do my best. So, now for the first lesson. Tighten your seatbelts and listen up because I might ask questions later!

First, let's start with a few Glesca phrases;

1 "Away an bile yer heed"
2 "Diz yoor mammy know yer oot?"
3 "Pick yer windae yer leavin!"

These are classic Glesca put downs (pootdoons). For those moments when you've just had enough of some one's behaviour or rantings.

Translation:

1 "Away and boil your head"
Doesn't quite have the same effect in english does it? So don't try it, you'll just get laughed at.
But say it in the Glesca dialect to any Glaswegian and they'll get the message. Don't ask me what it actually means or where it comes from - I haven't a clue.

2 "Does your mother know you're out by yourself?"
Again loses something in the translation but a great one for that irritating sod who's getting on your nerves. Insinuates they are childish and require parental guidance.
This can be a real showstopper at senior management meetings. Not a good career move though, believe me!

3 "Pick your window, you are leaving"
Subtle threat for use in a pub. It translates quite well into english but make sure you're up to the task before you open your mouth.
Also be prepared to pay 'fur the broken windae'.

"Erritserr!" (There it is!)
Now you come to mention it, that may have been the phrase that attracted the attention of the American lady I spoke of last week.

"Jeely Pieces!"
Oh Judy, what memories that stirs up!

"Haw Mammy! Gauny chuck iz doon a piece?"
A headscarfed head would appear from the second story tenement window.
"Whit! Anither yin? Dae ye think am made a pieces?"
""Aw pleeze Mammy. Mah pal hiznae goat wan an eez hungry.""
"Awrite. Haud oan!"
A few minutes later a small package wrapped in newspaper or waxy bread wrapper (Mother's Pride was a common brand) would come flying out the window and set me and my pal running about like someone on a cricket pitch trying to catch it before it hit the ground. Catching skills were even more important if the wrapper had been omitted or blew off!
I was among the last of the "Jeely Piece" catchers. With the demise of the tenements and the exodus out of the city to the sprawling housing schemes of Easterhouse, Castlemilk and Drumchapel the practise eventually died out. It died out instantly for those who found themselves in the high rise flats!
A song written in the 60s (The Jeely Piece Song) captured the essence of all this. More of that later.

The piece most often launched out the window was of the jam variety although lard was seemingly popular as well (yuck!) Incidently, A piece also referred to your sandwiches/packed lunch that you took to school or work.
"Ah forgot mah playpiece!" (I forgot my packed lunch for playtime!)

Okay, on to our A-Z. Let's have a look at some 'Bs'.

And now for The Jeely Piece Song

Written in 1967, the dialect is softened somewhat to make it more understandable to a general audience. It remains a classic of Glesca dialect, humour and changes of the time. It went to a catchy tune which, if ye haud yer heid close tae the speaker ye'll hear meh hummin Alternatively, try the link at the end to hear some Glesca kids sing a bit of it.

Hope you enjoyed that.
If you'd like a wee taste of what it sounds like go to

www.fortunecity.co.uk/meltingpot/oxford/762/html/body_jeely_piece_song.htm